


You're a life worth saving

by SineVestigio



Category: Captain America, Marvel
Genre: AU, Anal Sex, Blackmail, Breakup, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky is alone, Cheating, College, Damaged, Dark Past, Dominance, Fluff, Future, Gay Sex, Juvenile Detention, Lifeguard, Lots of sex tbh, Lust, M/M, Mind Control, Mind Games, Money, Oral Sex, Party, Second Chances, Some Fluff, Stony - Freeform, Stucky - Freeform, Submission, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Work, betrayed, drunk, gang life, self worth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-07-19 11:54:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7360417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SineVestigio/pseuds/SineVestigio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve has the perfect summer job: he's a lifeguard at a wealthy country club and he works with his best friends. Everything turns upside down when a young man straight out of Juvenile Detention shows up. Bucky Barnes is a quiet boy with a dark past that Steve tries desperately to avoid. Despite his intentions, Steve can't help but be pulled towards the mysterious boy and Bucky doesn't seem to mind being pursued. His friends warn Steve to stay away from him but he just can't take the advice. Steve is pulled into the dark world that is Bucky Barnes but is the young assassin worth betraying his beliefs for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The New Guard

**Author's Note:**

> Hey kiddos who may or may not read this Stucky fic, this is a GAY fanfic so if you don't like the gay then please don't read the gay. If you have any suggestions please don't hesitate to tell me!! Enjoy and thanks for reading!!

The story is in Steve's point of view 

I just graduated and I am so excited to be out of that hell hole they call a school. High school wasn't the worst experience of my life but I just felt like I needed to move on with my life. I had a lot of friends but I can't say that I'm heartbroken to be leaving them behind. I will miss Natasha because she's that one friend who stayed with me through so my ups and downs. We've been friends since grade school and she probably knows me better than I do. Freshmen year was her phase of trying to set me up with every living breathing female in Shield high school. I just really wasn't into any of the girls in my school and Natasha again knew that I wasn't into girls period before I did. 

It all started during sophomore year when I met an incredibly smart senior named Tony Stark. Natasha first pointed him out to me during a cross-country  practice in the fall and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I've never even considered that I was maybe gay or bisexual before that moment. I guess it made sense considering my best friend was a girl and I've never been remotely attracted to her or any other girl. Tony first noticed me after I came in first place during one of our races and he actually started talking to me. He was one of those guys who had his whole life planned out. He was a cocky boy and had a large friend group which I was adopted into after we started dating around 3 weeks after he first acknowledged my presence. He was a pretty good boyfriend, I mean he was my first so I guess that makes him a good one. He did a pretty good job at remembering our dates and keeping me included when we went out with his friends. He was so smart I almost felt stupid just talking to him and I always felt the need to prove myself to him even though he seemed to love me anyways. He was always thinking up ideas on how to improve things, how to invent new things. His mind never accepted things as they were and he always wanted to improve them. I guess that I always knew our relationship was never really going to last but I always thought it would be because he graduated and I was still stuck in school. I never would have thought he'd dump me for some bombshell blond named Pepper. 

He started talking to her when one of his friends introduced her to him during a party at Natasha's house. She was crazy smart as well and they seemed to click almost instantly. I know it was stupid of me to think he'd pick me over her: no one ever picked me first. 

I've gotten over it by now but I haven't talked to him since and I don't plan on ever seeing him again. I've grown hard since he left me, I keep my emotions more safely guarded so my heart doesn't just break again. He's gone, away at some college in Pennsylvania. 

I plan on entering the military this fall but before that, I need some cash so I started working as a lifeguard for a country club near my house in Brooklyn. 

It's a nice job, I get to stay outdoors all day and make a decent amount of cash: $9.00 an hour. I started working around a week ago and I honestly love the job. The pool is really well maintained and the people are nice. I work with eight other guards; Thor, Wanda, Sam, Clint, Maria, Peggy, Edwin and Bruce. 

Our boss, Nick, said that we are getting one new guard who's coming in today.  Apparently he just got out of Juvenile Detention and is on parol. Nick has always been a man of second chances and he trusts the new employee but I don't exactly feel so trusting. 

I run the skimmer through the leaves and bugs sitting on top of the water in soothing swirling strokes. I nod my head in the summer sun to Natasha's bright trap music that she always blasts during her shift. The pool opens at noon which is in around 20 minutes so I have a little while to myself. 

"STTTEEEVVEEE!!!" I hear a light sing song voice call over from the lifeguard office and turn to face Natasha walking over to me in her red one piece bathing suit. 

If I was straight I'd love to tap that ass. She always looks amazing and never has a problem finding someone to take her home after work. She exudes a certain sense of confidence that either makes men back away or extremely turned on. Her body is lean and well muscled from all her self defense and ufc training. I've fought her before for practice and I can say that she is a stiff competitor. I always come out on top but she does give me a run for my money. 

"Steve guess who's here!!!" She shrieks with a surprising amount of excitement. 

I look at her with a strange expression but she just shrugs it off and raises her brows, prompting me to answer. I run the skimmer trough the water a couple more times before pulling it out and facing her. 

"Who?" I ask her and she frowns. 

"You're supposed to guess, really Steve this is getting kind of pathetic," she tells me flatly with narrowed eyes. 

I put my hands up in surrender.  
"Sorry sorry, is it the president?" I ask her sarcastically and she face palms with a groan. 

"Never mind, I'm done." She says and starts walking away. 

I know her well enough to predict that she expects me to follow her and I do. 

"Oh yes!! I've always wanted to meet the president!!!" I call out to her and I can feel her rolling her eyes. 

"You're so lucky I tolerate your bad jokes and lack of cooperation,"she tells me sincerely from in front of me. 

"And why is that?" I ask her defensively and she chuckles lightly. 

"Because you wouldn't have any friends," she answers mater-of-factly. 

I sigh because she's right. I'm not antisocial its just that I have a very specific kind of friend I'm looking for. Natasha just so happened to fit the bill. I like people who have an opinion, who when you ask "where would you like to eat tonight?" Would answer "Chinese" or some shit. I don't like the people that say they don't care where we eat. I don't think I've once gotten to pick a restaurant between Natasha and I. Well I'm hungry now dang it. I think back to my breakfast choice and realize that I only had an apple and a small cup of oatmeal. I frown slightly and begin deciding what I want for lunch. We finally make our way to the office where Peggy stands outside and I assume that Nick is inside. 

Peggy stands in a hoodie with her hair in a bun. It's 80 degrees and she's still cold which I find kind of adorable. She's a naturally beautiful girl with a strong mind and body. Her eyes are dark brown and she like Natasha, has a fantastic figure. Peggy is another girl that could totally give me some competition during a fight and I've always admired her perseverance. There's three of us on duty today plus Nick who stands with a young man in the corner of the office. 

I look past everyone and my eyes instantly zero in on the boy with long black hair. He meets my eyes boldly and refuses to break eye contact first which shows me that he's kind of trying to assert his dominance over me. Usually people look away when our eyes meet which is why I'm slightly surprised at this dark haired boy. I don't blink and instead raise a brow at the boy but he faces me with a smirk. His mouth is undeniably sexy and I feel a strange sense of intimacy when the little half-smile curves his lips. I blush and look down and I hear a faint chuckle from deep in his throat because he knows he won. I shiver at his deep rumbling laugh but am also filled with an overwhelming sense of annoyance. Natasha bumps my hip with her's but I refuse to look over at her. 

"Well guys, this is James Buchanan Barnes, he's going to be a new guard here," Nick tells us and pats Bucky on the shoulder.  

"You guys can call me Bucky, hello everyone," he says but he looks only at me, his blue eyes searching my face for some sort of challenge to his statement almost. 

"Steve," I say shortly and Bucky nods, running his tongue almost involuntarily over his lips. 

His eyes shift towards Natasha and he almost undresses her with his eyes, making her shift uncomfortably from her left foot to her right. It's kind of strange to see Natasha uncomfortable and she seems taken aback by her reaction as well. She holds her chin up and straightens her spine, trying to reestablish her confidence. They just look at each other for a while and Peggy and I almost shrink with second-hand embarrassment. This has to be the most tense meeting I've ever been in and or seen, every guard here refuses to back down to Bucky and I can tell he's not used to this kind of treatment. Finally Bucky looks away from Natasha and he pulls his lips back from his teeth in a feral way almost. He eventually turns his head in Peggy's direction. Peggy offers her name quietly but refuses to look at him, not because she's shy, but because she doesn't want to reward him with the view of her chocolate colored eyes. 

Nick also seems tense and takes the first opportunity to leave us when the manager comes and asks for one of us to come help move tables. 

"Ok guys, keep a four guard rotation, I have to go check on the golf course so I won't be back for a while. Peggy, make sure the chlorine is at manageable levels," he tells us before he disappears around the side of the building. 

Peggy immediately grabs the water tester and begins taking chlorine measurements, leaving the rest of us in silence. 

Natasha runs her hands through her hair, almost combing it with her fingers. She looks up at me with her greenish blue eyes and taps my hand with hers. She can sense my wariness and this is her attempt at soothing me. I already don't like Bucky because he's an arrogant asshole who was stupid enough to get himself into Juvey. I have no tolerance of those kind of people, the kind that try to take control of everything around them, even air. The kind of people that think they're so much better than everyone else and deserve the others to bow before them. Bucky just drips a certain sense of dominance that I find unnerving. 

"So Bucky, where did you go to school?" Natasha asks, trying to break the awkward silence between us. Bucky gives her a look and chuckles. 

"Wow, it's been 2 minutes and you're already digging around in places you shouldn't," he says it lightly but with steel lacing his words. 

Natasha tilts her head at the dark haired boy and leans her hip against the office desk. 

"Well here I was just thinking that a school is kind of a public thing but I guess that's classified information. If I was really "digging around" I would have found what I wanted to see already." She retorts smoothly but Bucky hardly pays her any mind because he won't stop looking at me. 

"What about you Steve?" He asks me, letting his eyes drift slowly down my body, stopping at my lips and hands. 

"What about me?" I ask and his eyes slowly make their way back up to my face. 

"What would you like to ask me?" He inquires and bites his lip, cocking his hip and hooking his fingers on the waistband of his red lifeguard suit. 

There's a lot of things I'd like to ask this boy but I feel like I'd be met with wall after wall of defense. I take my time picking my question as I take in his body. Broad shoulders and a slim waist. His legs are well defined and muscled, almost giving the appearance of a runner or someone running away. He's lean and doesn't have an ounce of fat on the parts of body that I can see. My eyes make their way back up to his face and I take in his features. He has a square jaw and scars near his temples and on his right cheek. His eyes are a bright blue framed with long black lashes. They're piercing but well guarded just like the rest of him. I can tell that he's been through a lot just by the way he holds himself; leaning forwards on his feet, his body coiled tightly. I would like to ask where he got those scars, what he did to get into Juvy, if his parents are still alive, why didn't he want us to know about his school and most importantly IS HE GAY?!(sorry, he's hot). I don't pick any of those questions and instead settle for a neutral question to maybe get him to trust me. 

"What's your favorite color?" I ask, taking both him and Natasha by surprise. 

I decide not to pressure him but instead pull him out of his industrial shell. Natasha looks over at me with a questioning look on her face but I just pat her shoulder reassuringly. Bucky looks at me for a while, calculating my question, trying to figure out if there was another meaning to it. I can almost see the wheels turning in his mind. He doesn't trust me at all and I can tell that he's confused. He's used to evading, to answering the questions about his past, the questions everybody no doubt asks him. Finally he straightens and looks back into my eyes, the windows of the soul. He pokes around there but I don't let him see anything. I look away from him and to my best friend who looks at me questioningly. I smile at her and she nods slightly, offering a small smile back. 

"Blue. Like your eyes," I hear Bucky say from his spot in the office and I look over to see his arrogant smirk gone, his eyes momentarily unguarded. 

In that moment I feel some magnetic force pulling me towards him, not because he's aesthetically pleasing, but rather because I feel such a deep urge to protect him with my life. I've never felt like this before and it scares the shit out of me. I blink rapidly and struggle to swallow the lump in my throat but his eyes make me freeze. 

"Blue is my favorite color too," I tell him softly and he nods before something in him snaps. 

His eyes narrow and the defensive wall is put back up in seconds. 

"Great, now that we know that essential piece of information why don't we actually do something productive," he snorts and walks past us and out of the office door. 

Natasha and I watch him stride over to Peggy who's adding red drops to determine the PH of the pool. She looks up quickly when he walks over and he says a few words that make her smile and laugh. She pulls him closer and she shows him how many drops to add to the water samples and he nods.

"Well that was the worst first meeting I've ever seen," I tell Natasha when Bucky is far enough away. She faces me and rolls her eyes. 

"Stay away from him Steve, I don't like the way he was looking at you," she warns me carefully, letting her eyes drift past me and onto the young Bucky Barnes. 

My eyes drift over to where he and Peggy stand looking at the pool, Peggy's mouth moving a mile a minute. Bucky nods his head at what she's saying but doesn't seem to say anything to her. 

"Don't worry about me Nat, I can take care of myself you know," I tell her smoothly and she nods. 

"I know. But what kind of best friend would I be if I didn't look out for you?" She asks me sweetly, almost like what a mother does to her child. 

I look down at her and she gives me a huge grin, making me roll my eyes. 

"Again, I'm good," I chuckle and she lightly punches my arm. 

"Just let me do my thing!!!" She yells at me and I laugh and say ok. 

The rest of the day goes by quickly, with each of the guards on rotation: one at the table, one at the desk, one in the shallow, and one in the deep. Bucky actually fits in pretty well and does his job as he's supposed to. He doesn't talk to the kids but then again, none of the boys here really do. There are around 50 people that come to the pool which is a pretty nice crowd for a Monday. Nick didn't come back until the next shift which starts at 4 so we all manage the pool without him. Finally the first of the next shift comes in bringing Thor. 

"Good morning my friends," Thor says loudly upon entering the office. 

"It's afternoon Thor but nice try," I tell him and he laughs as he sets his stuff down in the lockers towards the back of the office. 

Thor is a blonde college boy who is around 21 this year. He's the other head guard on shift so he always comes the earliest. He's a very well muscled man but has a charming disposition and long blond hair. I personally think he looks like a Viking but to each his own. Oh and a head guard is kind of the in-charge guard when the boss isn't here. Thor wastes no time in ripping his shirt off and throwing it across the office. I try hard not to stare and instead look out at the pool, shocked when I see Bucky striding in without a shirt on.

First of all, he's not supposed to leave his spot until someone comes to get him and second....he looks really good without a shirt on. He is lean and like I suspected: doesn't have an ounce of body fat. I look at him and narrow my eyes but he just smiles and brushes past me. 

"Hello, I'm Bucky," he says to Thor and holds out his hand in greeting. Thor grasps it tightly and offers Bucky a warm smile with lots of white teeth. 

"Well hello Bucky, I'm Thor," he says in a deep voice. 

They hold hands for a while, eyes holding fast to each other. Finally Bucky breaks the eye contact and bows his head slowly. Thor chuckles lightly and walks out of the hut. 

"I'll go switch Peggy, tell Sam or Edwin to switch Natasha when they get here," he calls to us over his shoulder. 

I'm left alone with Bucky in the office, just waiting for the other two guards to get here. 

"You know Bucky, you're not supposed to leave your post until someone comes to switch you," I tell him and he looks at me with surprise painted across his features. He just started working so I assume he didn't know better but it's always important that I help out the new people as best as I can. 

He lets out a loud chuckle and steps closer to me. I stand my ground because I don't want to give him the satisfaction of backing up due to his proximity. He's like a bad dog in need to retraining and that's what I intend to do to him. He puts his red whistle in between his teeth and puts a hand on my shoulder. 

"Oh Steve I feel as though I should let you know something," he whispers, letting the whistle fall from between his teeth. I watch it fall and hit his chest with a small thud before meeting his eyes again. They're still blue but somehow darker, maybe it's because of the blown pupils or perhaps something else. 

"What is that Bucky?" I question him as I pull my lips back in a snarl. I feel somehow threatened and bristle at his tone almost immediately. I'm slightly taller than him so I can look down on him but he doesn't seem fazed by the height difference. 

"I don't listen to you," he tells me and pulls his lips into a smirk. 

Without thinking I push down on his shoulder and sweep his legs with mine. Maybe it's all the military training I've endured or maybe it's the strange sense of dominance I have that made me do it but now Bucky is on his knees looking up at me with anger on his face. His eyes are narrowed and his head is tilted slightly to the side, exposing his beautiful neck. His chest rises and falls swiftly with what I assume is frustration. 

"You will learn to listen to me," I tell him firmly but his eyes don't meet mine, instead they stare intently to what's in front of them. He looks up at me slowly and a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. I mentally curse myself for being this turned on when I'm supposed to be mad at him. He looks so perfect on his knees and I honestly wish I could just forget about what he looks like kneeling before me like that. 

"Oh I'm sure I will," he mutters sarcastically and reaches his hand out to touch the tent in my swimsuit just when Sam bursts into the office. 

"Oh hi ya'll- oh am I interrupting something?! Sorry guys I can go?" He slowly backs away but Bucky gets up from his knees and holds out a hand. 

"There's no need for you to go," he says smoothly and Sam takes his hand hesitantly. "I'm Bucky, I just started working here," he explains to Sam and he nods. 

"Oh well...I'm Sam. It's nice to meet you," he mumbles and shifts from fit to foot. 

"Oh please, the pleasure is all mine," Bucky responds in a smooth voice like melting chocolate. 

Sam breaks the hand hold and nods at me before taking his shirt off over his head. 

"I'll go get Natasha," he tells us and heads out of the office, leaving Bucky and me alone again. 

Bucky turns towards me and runs his hands through his shoulder length hair with a sigh. He looks at me with a strange expression before heading towards the lockers to grab his things. I stride over to get my things as well, squeezing past the brunette to find my locker. The smell of Bucky fills my nose as I bend closer to him: he smells like exotic spices and something fairly sweet underneath. I grab my bag and sweatshirt and straighten up to start walking out of the office when an arm latches onto mine. I turn and find Bucky's face inches from mine, his sexy smirk making a reappearance. 

"You know Steve, the next time you try to teach me a lesson I'd prefer if you were on your knees," he whispers before turning swiftly and exiting the office. I stand there for a moment and try to calm my breathing, to tame my growing erection, to keep my hands from inching towards my dick. 

"Steve?" I hear Natasha call from the front of the office. 

I take a few deep breaths and pull the hoodie on over my head, tucking my hands in the pockets in an attempt to hide my arousal. I lick my lips and head around the corner to where I find Natasha, looking sunburnt but reassuring. 

"Grab my bag for me?" She asks before inspecting the chlorine levels. 

I quickly grab her small Vera Bradley tote bag and her car keys before heading to where she stands. She holds out her arms and I drop her things carefully into them. She closes the records and leads the way out of the office. We walk the distance to the punch out/in place in silence. My eyes scan the parking lot until they find the beautiful brunette getting onto a black motorcycle. He straddles it and revs the engine noisily before pulling out of the parking lot. 

Natasha whistles under her breath but I can't pull my eyes away from where he was, almost as if looking there will make him reappear. I shake my head and together we punch out before heading towards our cars. 

"Stay away from him Steve," she calls over to me from over top her car roof. 

I stop my motions and nod in her direction. 

"Don't worry Nat, I've got him under control," I call over towards her and I can almost see her eye roll from over here. 

She gets into her Toyota Camry and drives out of the parking lot without a second glance. The only thing I can think about is: I have Bucky under control.


	2. When it Rains....

"Do you think I should?" Natasha asks me, eyeing the guest list with a cautious glance. It's a tradition that Nat and I throw a mid-summer party and this year wouldn't be complete without one. We have them the first Friday of June and that's in two days from now. We are currently debating on inviting Bucky as we drive to work together. I tighten my grip on the steering wheel and sneak a look at her but she doesn't notice. She has her bottom lip pulled between her teeth and her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. 

"I mean you can, he probably won't come anyway," I say nonkcomittedly but I feel a slight desperation for him to be there. I try to focus my gaze and concentration on the road but I can't shake the feeling of his lips brushing my ear, his intimate demand for me to be on my knees. It's been three days since then and I haven't been able to stop thinking about him. God I feel like some hopeless school girl....er boy. I shake my head a couple times and tighten my grip on the leather steering wheel, trying to pay attention to the road and the cars. Nat hums softly from beside me and I hear the scratch of a pen against paper. 

"Tony Stark?" She asks me and I wince at hearing his name. 

I haven't thought about him in a while and just hearing about him makes my mouth go dry. I can't say that the thought of seeing him again doesn't excite me. I know that I shouldn't still like him or think about him like this but I do and it's pathetic. I'm better than this, I'm better than him. I swallow hard and look over at Nat with a brow raised. 

"What do you think the answer is?" I ask her sarcastically and she snorts. 

"Don't get huffy with me Steeeve," she croons as we pull into the country club. 

There's barely any cars here and that makes me smile slightly. A lifeguard's biggest wish is for no one to be here because who wants to actually do their work? Not us. We get paid to sit around and play cards when it rains and it is actually fantastic. We are so desperate for rain that we actually do a morning rain dance that guarantees rain. And when I say guarantee I mean it worked once. And when I say rain dance I mean we do what the Indians did when they wanted rain. And by we I mean Natasha and I dance around like idiots when no one is here. We have a pretty legit system here and today will be no different. We'll open the pool and dance to "Singing in the Rain," on repeat while we do our chores. We climb out of my car and walk together towards the punch-in place with Nat singing softly and me digging my hands in my pockets.

When we make it up to the pool there's no one there as expected and the doors are closed to the office. I unlock them and we step inside, instantly getting to work. I straighten up the office and put out the backboard as well as the life tubes and ventilation masks. Nat pulls out a skimmer and starts on the baby pool. I plug her phone into the aux cord and start "Singing in the Rain". Natasha starts scream/singing from the other end of the pool and I chuckle under my breath. I put up the navy blue umbrellas and wipe off the tables, singing softly under my breath to our favorite song. I love cleaning, it relaxes me more than anything else. 

"Steve dance with me!!!" Nat calls from across the pool. She starts rolling her hips and pumping her fists in the air. 

This is what we do every single morning. Nick usually puts us on the morning shift a half an hour earlier than anyone else because we are early birds. Not really though it's like 11.

I roll my eyes at her but start swaying my hips to the music and nodding my head in time. I look over at Nat who's actually like flipping in the air and dancing like a pro. She's been a dancer for 11 years now and is probably the most talented one I've ever seen. Once she gets into the zone she's untouchable. No one breaks through that barrier of carefully trained perfection. I decide to leave her be and walk towards the office, deciding that her rain dance is probably better than mine anyways. Before I reach the office I do an elaborate twirl and put my hands in the air, freezing when I hear a voice from inside. 

"Wow, is that how you dance in the clubs?" Bucky Barnes asks me slowly, moving towards me with an arrogant smirk placed strategically on his lips. 

I had no idea he was even here.

I open my mouth to answer him but he puts a finger to my lips, shocking me with the proximity. He wears a light grey pullover sweatshirt and his lifeguard swim trunks. His hair is unruly and he looks tired. Clearly he isn't accustomed to waking up before noon. 

"Actually don't answer. That is what you dance like at clubs cuz if you didn't you'd for sure have a boyfriend and be less sexually frustrated," he tells me and chuckles deep in his throat. 

I roll my eyes and brush past him, grabbing the sign in sheet and putting it on the counter. I freeze when I realize that he might have complimented me. 

"So I'd for sure have a boyfriend if it wasn't for my dancing?" I ask him and he looks at me with confusion in his eyes. 

"What?" He asks and tilts his head to the side.

"'You'd for sure have a boyfriend'; that's what you said isn't it?" I ask him innocently with a faint smile playing at my lips. 

Bucky looks unamused and slightly annoyed. 

"Well you don't," he points out flatly and suddenly stares intently at the water samples. 

He knows I won but doesn't give me the satisfaction of admitting it. I sigh because I know this is how Bucky works. I've only worked with him once before but I can already tell that pride is a huge deal to him and I can't understand why. I look over at the brunette but he doesn't look up from the data sheet. 

"How do you know?" I ask him, not bothering to inquire how he knew I was gay. Well.....I guess maybe I was slightly too close or something to him before. I don't know but I'm not gonna question it. He just raises an eyebrow and laughs...or chuckles I guess. 

"Oh Steve, don't ask such foolish questions," he talks down to me in an irritating tone and I feel annoyance flicker through me. 

"I didn't know it was foolish or I wouldn't have asked," I grit out from between my teeth but he seems to be unfazed by my sudden hostility. I'm usually not this quick to anger but his cocky taunting just his a nerve. 

He just leans his hip against the desk and crosses his arm with a faint smile gracing his lips. He seems to be enjoying my frustration because he waits a while before responding, letting my sentence sit suspended in mid air. 

"Tell me Steve, have you ever lied?" He asks me this with all trace of humor gone from his face. 

I don't know exactly where he's going with this or why he asked me. I probably have lied but I avoid it at all costs. I don't think I've lied since I was little, it just seems like a lot of extra energy spent on remembering what you told which person. 

"No," I answer him as honestly as I can because a 5 year old fib hardly seems legitimate. 

He nods his head as though he figured that would be my answer. 

"Then have you ever not told someone something? Kept a secret perhaps?" he suggests coyly and I don't even want to answer that question. 

Yes I've kept secrets, my entire existence seems to revolve around them. Keeping my sexuality a secret from my family has proved to be a task far harder than I ever imagined. It's not that I lie about it, it's just that I don't tell them the truth about it either. My family sees me as a determined boy entering the military in the fall, following my father's footsteps. I've come such a long way to prove myself to them that I can't let something so petty ruin my relationship with them. Years and years of training and exercise has turned me from a scrawny kid with asthma to a strong soldier worthy of my father's name. 

"Yes I have," I admit slowly and Bucky runs his tongue across his lips with his eyes on the ceiling. 

I don't understand exactly where Bucky is going with this or how we got here from his assumption that I don't have a boyfriend. 

"Bucky where are you going with this?" I voice my curiosity and Bucky seems to jerk back into reality, back from his thoughts. 

"Secrets Steve, even the most noble of people keep them. Secrets are what keeps the mind working, what keeps the body moving. Secrets fuel curiosity. Without them life is boring, simple, a book without words. To answer your question, I will keep my reasoning a secret because you won't stop pursuing me," he takes a step closer and I back away, "Until you know my secrets. I'm dangerous to you Steve," he warns me in a whisper and I shiver involuntarily. 

"How are you dangerous to me Bucky?" I ask and swallow hard when he lets his eyes dip to my lips. They sit there for a while before meeting my eyes. I'm shocked at the sudden sadness lurking deep in his ocean blue eyes. 

"I'm forbidden fruit to you Steve," he starts and I immediately recognize his reference to the bible story of Adam and Eve. For those of you that are unreligious or not Christian, the story is about Adam and Eve, God's first humans. He gave them an entire garden to enjoy and eat from with the exception of one tree in the center. Eve was tempted by Satan to eat from the tree and Adam followed suit. They were both kicked out of the garden (heaven). "One bite and you'll be locked out of heaven forever," he warns me with a haunted look on his face, like he's scared of something he can't control. He takes a few steps away from me, walking past me and out to the pool. 

I just stand there for a while, trying to shake the haunted look in those blue eyes, the warning that he seems to tell everyone. I'm not afraid of being locked out of heaven, I don't even know if that's where I'll end up. Bucky is worth it. I want to make him feel special and wanted. I don't ever want to see sadness in those eyes of his again but I know that just because I want him to be happy, it doesn't mean that he'll just change over night. I want him to trust me enough to tell me all those dark secrets that swirl in his mind, that darken his eyes. He was right about that, I will pursue him until I know what he's been through, what made him so scared and reserved. I want to know who broke his trust and who made him bottle up the secrets too ugly to tell. For now I'll take things slow, treat him like I would a caged animal. Patience is a virtue and I intend to treat it as such. 

Natasha comes into the door and walks over to where her phone sits hooked up to the Bluetooth. She flips through it and decides on a trap remix playlist on Spotify like she does everyday. I snort as "Broken Record" starts playing first like it does everyday. I know these songs well enough to be able to sing them word for word and sometimes I do depending on who's around. 

"Ooh Steve the rain gods have answered our prayers!!" Nat exclaims excitedly and motions for me to come over. 

I comply and she shoves her phone in my face, waving it around frantically. I grab her wrist and hold it farther away from my eyes so I can properly read the forecast. 90% chance of rain all day starting in an hour!! I know that the weather people are wrong more times than they are right but I still feel this giddy sense of hope course through my veins. 

"God freaking bless!!" I shout and she nods her head swiftly. 

This is majorly good news. If patrons even think it could rain they don't come....well except for the old lap swimmers who would still call and ask if the pool's open even if there's a hurricane. This means that today we won't do anything but eat, sit, and get paid. Nat always brings a deck of cards in her bag so we'll probably continue our game of 500. 

"What's going on?" Bucky asks from the doorway and Nat whips her head towards him, unaware of his entrance. She grins at him and Bucky looks away. 

"It's supposed to rain!!" She tells him happily and Bucky tilts his head. 

"That's.....good news?" He asks slowly and she nods at him. 

"Of course it is, it means that we get payed to do nothing unless the club manager tells us to go home," she explains to him and Bucky actually smiles, like legitimately smiles for real. 

"Ok I see why you guys did the little rain dance this morning," Bucky says with a small laugh. 

Nat's eyes widen at his teasing and smile and I feel mine widen as well. 

"See? Rain is great!!! Alright who wants to play 500?" She asks us and scampers off to find the card deck. 

"What's 500?" Bucky asks and my jaw drops. 

"You've never played 500?" I ask him in surprise and he shakes his head no. 

"Well you have to play with us then, we'll teach you the ropes," Nat says before I can say anything. Bucky laughs again and nods his head and mumbles "ok then" under his breath. 

Nat wastes no time in dealing us all a small pile of 7 cards while I explain the rules to Bucky. I ended up not really needing to tell him how to play because he's a natural and roasted me and Natasha. 

"You can't have never played this before," Natasha says crossly after Bucky reaches 500 with me trailing at 450 and Nat bringing up the rear with 382. He puts his hands up in surrender with a small smile. 

"I promise that was my first time," he tells her truthfully and she scowls.

"You had to have cheated" 

"Nat calm down," I tell her with a grin. 

"I would have to know how to play in order to cheat,"

"That's not true," 

"Yes it is!!"

"YOU'RE LIEING!!!" 

"Ok guys-"

"You're just mad that I beat you," 

"IM NOT MAD!!!" 

"Your red face and raised voice suggest otherwise," he flashes a cocky grin and she hisses. 

"MY FACE IS NOT RED!!" She screams in denial. 

"It's about as red as your hair," he says simply. 

"MY ASS!!" 

"Is quite nice," 

Nat just gapes at him and Bucky bursts out laughing. He throws back his head and lets out peels of happiness. I actually join in because Nat's face is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen. I know how competitive she is and how upset she gets when she loses but no one ever stands up to her accusations. 

"I'm just kidding, you're not really my type," he chokes out between breathless laughs. She rolls her eyes and cracks a smile.

"I'm everyone's type," she points out seriously and I start guffawing. She turns her bitter scowl to me now and I shrink back from the scathing look. 

"Clearly not Steve's," Bucky mutters under his breath and Natasha glares at him. 

It's kind of nice to see Bucky out of his shell like this, I'm not sure what changed from the sad serious Bucky, to the calm and carefree one but I love it. When he's at ease I seem to be as well. 

"So Bucky, you doing anything this Friday?" Nat asks him nonchalantly. Bucky shakes his head and shuffles the cards after collecting them from us. 

"Well Steve and I are throwing a party to kind of kick off the summer, it's an annual thing. Do you wanna come? It starts at 8 and is at my house," she informs him as he passes out a new hand of 7 each. He looks kind of shocked that she bothered to extend the invitation but he breaks into an easy smile. 

"Sure, I bet you two throw some lit parties," he says the last part almost sarcastically and Nat glares at him. 

"What's that supposed to mean?! I throw great parties!!" She shouts indignantly. 

"Oh I have no doubt that you do," he slides his gaze towards me and smirks. "You're the one I'm not so sure about," he teases and I flush.

He's totally right like 200% correct. My idea or party is vastly different than Nat's and most other teenager's. My ideal party doesn't invoke nearly as much alcohol and sex as Nat's but I'm not opposed to the idea either. I mean we do this every year so I've kinda grown accustomed to her style. 

"Nah man, I'm the real party animal here," I tell him and he smiles to himself almost. 

"Oh I'm sure you are," he says seriously and Nat chortles from her spot in the circle. 

We play another game with Bucky winning, me coming in second and Nat finishing last. She scowls again and narrows her eyes at Bucky but before she can lunge on him, a patron walks up in the rain. I told you that the old lap swimmers come every. Goddamn. Day. I mentally groan before walking towards the sign-in sheet. 

"Good morning," I greet Mr. Herb warmly and he smiles, his eyes crinkling happily. 

"Good morning Steve, fine weather we're having huh?" He asks me as he signs in and I can't help but grin at the old man. 

"Perfect for swimming Mr. Herb," I laugh and he nods and grabs a towel off the counter. 

Mr. Herb is our oldest patron at the age of 86. He comes almost everyday to 'lap swim' and spends around a half an hour in the pool. He's a pleasant man that always seems to smile. His wife joins him some days when she's not playing golf at the club and the two swim together in sync. I watch his marines baseball cap disappear around the corner and I walk out of the office leaving Bucky and Nat alone. 

As long as someone is on the pool deck or in the water, a guard needs to sit at the table or in the shallow end chair. I can't say I mind the shallow end chair because I can scootch it to the end of the pool which allows my feet to be dipped in the warm water. We keep our pool at a constant 82 degrees Fahrenheit. 

Mr. Herb wastes no time in jumping in the shallow end with a white swim shirt on, blue swim trunks and his tennis shoes that he insists on swimming with. He begins his broken free style strokes which make a lulling, sloshing sound. 

I stretch out in the chair and fix my gaze on the sky which is a stormy gray color. I'm surprised it hasn't started raining yet but for now, the rain holds. 

I'm so happy that Bucky said yes to the party. If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm kind of pathetic. I may look strong(ish) but I'm way too desperate. I hate myself for it. It's important to have people that you care about, it keeps you on your toes or up at night. Being void of any emotion is an unhealthy reality that Bucky seems to face. I guess I can't assume that he doesn't care about anyone, it just seems like he doesn't trust anyone enough to care about them. 

I re-focus my gaze on Mr.herb who's done about two laps so far. I smile faintly because I want to be like him when I'm older. Some old people get bitter with age but he ages like a fine wine. Is wine bitter? Hell if I know, I steer clear from that drink. It's way too expensive and the taste makes my lips curl. 

I hear a scraping noise and my head turns toward Bucky who's pulling up another chair to put next to mine. I guess he's here to switch me so I stand up in preparation to leave but he grabs hold of my hand. 

"Stay," he tells me and gestures for me to sit where I was. 

I agree and take a seat where I was and place my feet back in the water. It's strange that he wants to sit with me like this. I guess I shouldn't really complain but he caught me off guard. 

"She's a funny girl," he says out of the blue and I assume he's talking about Natasha. 

"I know, she keeps things interesting," I tell him sincerely and he smiles with a small sigh. 

"How long have you guys been friends?" He inquires and I wrack my brain for a moment. 

I guess we've been friends since 5th grade but it seems like so much longer than that. I really can't remember a time that was without Natasha. She just always seemed to be there whether I wanted it or not. 

"Eight years?" I ballpark it. I think that's right. 

Bucky just nods and looks almost wistfully out at the churning water where Mr. Herb disturbs the calm blue. 

"What about you? Who's your longest friend?" I ask him to keep the conversation going. 

I hate silence, it's one thing that drives me absolutely insane. It just seems so dense, like it takes up more space than it should. Silence hangs like a low cloud, like fog almost and I hate it. 

"I don't really do 'friends'," he makes air quotes around the word 'friends'. 

I should have expected that answer, he doesn't seem like he would have one. He just seems like more of an independent person. 

"Well I could be your first," I suggest and mentally kick myself for voluntarily placing myself in the never ending maze called the FRIENDZONE!!! Dun dun duuuuuuun!!!! *insert horror music*. Bucky just looks at me with a smile. 

"Steve I don't want to be your friend," he tells me and I try not to be offended. At least I'm not in the FRIENDZONE. I'm still curious as to why he turned down my offer so I ask. He sighs and looks at the clouds. 

"Remember our conversation about secrets?" He asks me as if I could forget. I nod and he gives me a crooked smile.

"Now you're that much more intrigued," he snaps his fingers and flashes me a cocky look that seems to be his trade mark. I actually groan out loud at his answer. 

"You will tell me right?" I double check and he doesn't answer right away, he just looks at the tiny little rain drops that make ripples in the pool. I didn't even know it started raining. 

"One day I will," he tells me and I'm not sure I trust his answer. For the sake of my sanity I decide to latch onto the tiny bit of hope he offered me. 

We sit and talk about safe things like his favorite fruit (pear), what sports he did/does (almost everything except for curling, bowling, and tennis), and his previous pets (one dog named Sully and a cat named whiskers). He is trained in martial arts as well as received military training. He also plans on entering the military in the fall and I let out a sigh of relief that at least I'll know someone there. We're actually more similar than I ever thought which is strange to me. He seems to be talking with more ease and even his body is less coiled than it was before. 

Finally Mr. Herb gets out of the pool just as it starts pouring down rain. We are both soaking wet as we run towards the office. The rain comes down in icy cold sheets and thunder sounds from above us, shaking the ground and the office. 

"20 minutes!!" Natasha shouts happily from the office. 

Thunder means everyone gets out of the pool for 20 minutes and every time it thunders we restart the clock for another 20 minutes.

No one else comes to the pool while we are on shift and as soon as Wanda, Peggy, and Edwin come we leave swiftly. Bucky hops onto his soaking wet motorcycle and Nat and I climb into my car.


	3. Every good day starts with Lucky Charms

Hey I forgot to ask Natasha what her address is so is it cool if I tag along with you? 

I reread those 20 words over a couple times before I eventually accept that Bucky just texted me. At least I think it's Bucky, it makes sense that it is. 

Who is this???

Yes I decide to ask, just to make sure that it's him and my mind isn't producing false realities that I so desperately wish were real. Also my morning brain might have transformed a text from my mom asking to pick up milk into a supposed text from Bucky. I run my hands through my short blond hair before slowly stepping out of my bed, grabbing my phone as I make my way to the bathroom. I wash my face with bar soap and brush my teeth, not bothering to shower since I did it last night. I finally hear the buzz of my phone and hastily unlock the screen to read the response. 

Who do you think it is? 

His terse reply makes me smile and I can picture him in his bed with his hair ruffled the way I like it; an annoyed and lazy smile on his face. Even though it's early he's rigid and ready to move as he always is. 

Elvis Presley? I send back and await his annoyed response. 

I quickly scroll through my photos in search of today's work schedule. I'm working today with Peggy and Bucky in the morning. Natasha requested off to prepare for the party and to go get her nails done. She told nick that she has a 'family gathering' that they really wanted her to attend. I can't say he believed her but let her skip anyways. 

Nick has always been a guy who's very accommodating without being too soft. He lets you take a day off once a week and takes requests for morning or evening shift. Working as a guard is my first job and I've been working at the club for about 3 years now. 

I look over at my alarm clock and wince when it reads 10:00. I don't have time for my usual morning run so I head downstairs for breakfast with my phone safely tucked in the palm of my left hand. 

I feel the small buzz and uncurl my fist from around my iphone, trying not to seem too eager about reading Bucky's latest text. 

You're really hilarious this morning Steve. Is his unamused response. 

I can't help but let out a small laugh and shake my head. 

I can take you with me after work if you don't mind helping to set up a bit. I shoot the text back before setting my phone on the marble island at the center of the kitchen. 

We have a large kitchen that sits tucked beneath my bedroom which is directly above it. A stainless steel sink is framed with white and gray marble counters. Black wooden cabinets sit comfortably above a large black oven and next to the massive silver refrigerator. My family has always had a fascination with cooking that seems to have missed me somewhere in the genetic cesspool of creation. I can't cook to save my life and frankly I'm not too bothered by that fact. I'm skilled enough to pour myself a bowl of cereal which is my everyday breakfast along with a bowl of fruit and a glass of milk. Today's cereal of choice is lucky charms which is my personal favorite. 

I select the large box from among other choices which are kept in the largest cabinet underneath of the island. I bypass Life, Peanut Butter Puffins (a cereal native to Trader Joe's which is this organic store that we shop at), various granola and Cheerios. I hear my phone vibrate but ignore the text as I search another cabinet for a decent sized bowl. I settle for a dark blue one and set in on the counter while I rummage through the fridge on the hunt for milk. I always eat my cereal with coconut milk which is actually amazing and if you haven't tried it, get on board people. I frown at the spoon display which sports only large salad spoons and a soup ladle. That's one of my biggest pet peeves. Grumbling, I grab a large spoon and pour myself a heaping helping of cereal and add the milk over it. I finally read the text as I struggle to fit my mouth around the giant spoon, a scowl securely placed on my face. 

For as smart as you are Steve, you forgot a very important detail of the plan. I drive to work so if I rode with you I'd have to leave my bike there. 

I roll my eyes at the response and begin typing back. 

Well aren't you Mr. Assumption boy this morning? I never said I'd drive you, I merely said that I'd take you there. 

I send it quickly feeling a ridiculous smile curve my lips. I have a feeling that no one talks back to Bucky and I'm not exactly sure how he'll react. 

Merely Steve? God who uses that word anymore? 

I bite back a laugh at his evasion. 

I just did. 

I'm unsure of what to say so I send the small response back, not really expecting an answer but my phone buzzes anyways. 

Case in point. See you at work 

I glare at my phone for a moment as if it's the one who gave me that curt response but I know it's not. Sighing, I push my marshmallows around in the bowl, trying to eat the actual cereal part first. I always save the marshmallows for last because they're the whole reason I like this cereal...they're the whole reason anyone likes this cereal. I pick up a small pink heart from my bowl and slowly put it to my lips. I smile slightly before heading back up to my room to get ready for work. 

                       $$$$$$$$$ 

By the time I get there its around 10:30 which is slightly early for my shift but I wanted to get out of the house ASAP. I don't like just sitting around so I thought I'd get a head start with the chores. I'm surprised when I see a jet black chrome motorcycle sitting in the employee parking lot and my heart gives an awkward thump in my chest. I swallow hard and walk to punch in with a goofy smile on my face. 

The gates are open to the pool and the office door is unlocked which means Bucky got the keys from the club office. At first glance I don't see the beautiful brunette but when I walk into the office I notice him him laying slumped over the brown desk. His brown hair falls into his eyes and his lips are slightly parted, letting deep breaths come in and out. His long dark lashes fan his cheeks and his head lays propped up on his arms. He's wearing that same grey fleece sweatshirt pullover from before even though it's already at least 80 degrees. I can't help the wide grin that takes over my lips involuntarily. 

He looks so peaceful and worry free and it makes me so happy to see him like this. The harsh lines of his face are smoothed by dreams and his tense body is relaxed in sleep. Those secrets that swirl wildly in his mind are tamed and lulled by the dark veil of slumber. I never want to wake him up. Slowly I lay my stuff down and walk out to the pool to start putting up umbrellas and preparing the pool. 

By the time I finish skimming the pool it's around 11:00 which means we open now. I turn to go to the office where Bucky sleeps when I notice him standing in the doorway, leaning against the wall with his muscular arms crossed over his chest, his eyes watching my every move. I break into an easy smile as I walk past him and towards the front desk. 

"It's nice to see you finally awake sleeping beauty," I tease him and he tilts his head in confusion. 

He looks so tired it almost pains me. Dark circles sit like crescent moons beneath startling blue eyes and his cheekbones look more pronounced than usual. The lines of worry crease his forehead in small ripples and his once free body is now enslaved by hostility and tension. 

He takes two steps forward and stops. Two exhales of breath plus two inhales and he's moving three more steps closer. 8 inches of space between us turns to 7, to 6, to 5 and then he stops. His nose is close to mine, his eyes stare into mine, almost probing me for some sort of understanding that he is eluded by. 

"Careful Steve, if I didn't know any better I'd think you were flirting with me," He warns me with an emotion on his face that I can't quite categorize. He wears a faint smile on his mocking mouth and I realize the emotion sitting on his face is slight amusement. 

I tilt my chin up slightly higher and gaze down at him. 5 inches turn to 4 and then to 3. I could move my head and my lips would brush his nose that bears a certain endearing crookedness suggesting multiple breaks. 

"If I was?" I ask, surprising myself with the coy answer. 

His eyes widen and he moves even closer still but his face turns from mine. I feel his lips on his ear, feel his hair on my cheek and smell the indescribable spicy scent that is Bucky. 

"I don't do hypotheticals Steve," he says and all traces of amusement are gone and replaced with something colder. He steps away from me and walks out the office door and towards the pool deck.

I let out a frustrated sigh and run my hands over my face, looping my hands behind my head. If only I had said yes what would've happened? Would he close the gap between us and press his lips to mine? Slide his tongue in my mouth and run his hands over my chest? Or would he back away like a frightened animal. The questions burn my mind, searing my thoughts like a white hot poker. Confusion rips through me in waves. It rushes through my veins and wraps around my heart and mind like an unwelcome disease. 

"Morning Steve, sorry I'm late, but I brought coffee!!" Peggy startles me out of my thoughts and my gaze focuses on her. 

Like Bucky, she wears a sweatshirt despite the scorching heat. Her hair is wet from a shower and her face is bare if any makeup. She's beautiful in a way that almost makes me feel special to be looked at by her. There are few naturally beautiful people on both the inside and the out and Peggy falls into that endangered category. In her hands are three cups of Starbucks ice coffee and a small brown bag probably containing her favorite vanilla scones. She holds out a cup of coffee almost as as a peace offering for being late to work. I accept it and grab a straw from the bag as well. 

"Bucky, you want coffee?" Peggy shouts out to the brunette and I hear a faint "yea sure". 

Soon he walks through the door and takes a coffee from her outstretched hand with a smile. They seem friendly towards one another which is surprising considering Bucky's personality. He takes a long sip from the green straw and swirls the liquid around in the clear cup. He slowly steers the straw into his mouth with his tongue and drinks deeply.  

"Ok so three guard rotation today, you guys know the drill," Peggy tells us with a certain authority that seems to radiate off of her. We nod in agreement just as a family walks up with two small children in tow. 

I've always been a child favorite for some odd reason. I like kids just as well as the next guy but they seem to enjoy my presence with an odd passion.

"STEEEVE!!" The two blond haired kids shout to me and their parents regard me with warm smiles. The children's names are Henry and Lilly. Henry is the older of the two at 5 years old and Lilly follows at 3. 

"Hey kiddos," I smile at them and wave, watching their sweet faces light up with unmasked excitement and happiness. 

"Steve come play with us!!" Henry exclaims and walks around to the office door where he enters and runs straight for me. 

There's a pretty strict 'no kids allowed in the guard office' rule that Nick enforces like it's the difference between life and death. I'm glad he's not here because I can't bring myself to kick him out. He grabs my large hand with his small one and gently tugs on my arm, prompting me to come out to the pool and leave Bucky and Peggy behind. I grab my ice coffee and follow the family out towards the glassy blue pool that shines and shimmers in the hot sun. 

Henry an his sister waste no time in jumping into the pool, floaties positioned perfectly on their small arms. I watch them play for 20 minutes, commenting on how good their jumps are, how well they swim, how I can't imagine how much energy they expel. They soak up my praise gratefully and tell me that I have no energy because I'm old. I frown at them in mock anger and they giggle under my firm gaze. 

"Ooh are you new?" Henry asks boldly when Bucky comes to switch me. 

Bucky reels backwards as if punched in the gut and his eyes widen. I can tell kids aren't really his strong suit and those screws of his are turning faster than ever. He quickly composes himself and offers the two children a crooked smile. 

"I guess you could say that," he answers them and stands behind the chair I sit in. He rests his arm on either side of my shoulders but makes no move towards my spot. 

"He just did," Lilly points out, stuck in the literal translation of Bucky's words. In surprised when I hear a low chuckle from above me and I look up at Bucky who's lips are curled in an amused smile. 

"Yes I'm new, my name is Bucky," he informs them and they nod their heads, digesting this new piece of information. 

"That's a weird name," Henry says blatantly and Bucky rewards him with a laugh. 

"To each his own," Bucky answers him and Henry tilts his head in confusion. 

"Alright I have to switch Steve," he breaks the news to them and they protest. 

"No he's way nicer,"

"Can he get in the pool?"

"Ooh ya can he???" 

Bucky's lips twitch slightly and he squeezes my shoulder with a warm hand. 

"They seem to be quite taken with you," he whispers close to my ear, his lips touching my hair, his warm breath fanning my neck. I try desperately not to lean back into his touch and instead stand up abruptly. 

"I'm glad someone is," I say dryly to him and he smiles faintly. 

I appease the masses (by masses I mean the two little kids who are the only ones in the pool) by jumping in the pool. Henry and Lilly cheer loudly when I enter the warm water and eagerly swim towards me, clinging to my arms and torso. Happiness floods me in unexpected currents but I welcome the golden feeling.

I've always pictured happiness to look like liquid gold that fills up a person's mind. It starts at the brain and travels towards the heart in waves of Amber, of yellow and gold. The body radiates with the level of warmth that only joy produces. 

I spend the next 20 minutes playing with the kids before Bucky and I walk to switch Peggy. Traditionally she's supposed to come out but since the kids got out of the pool we can go in. I'm bombarded by an almost palpable scent of bananas and coconuts that Peggy's sunscreen gives off. Bucky sputters and coughs from behind me and I struggle to keep a straight face. 

"Ew Peggy that stuff is foul," he tells her, letting his displeasure be known. 

"Not as foul as your face," she taunts him childishly and I laugh.

She's never been one for insults which suits her perfectly. She doesn't need harsh words to gain respect, she commands it. It's still kinda funny to see her try though. 

"Ooh that one stung," Bucky says without a drop of amusement in his voice but his lips twitch and I can tell he's trying not to smile. 

"Don't take it too hard Buck," Peggy soothes and lays a hand on his shoulder. 

Bucky flinches at the touch but doesn't push her hand away. 

"Oh I take it very hard, consider my dignity gone," he mocks with a hand to his heart. 

"That's an upgrade, someone needs to put you in your place," I but in and Bucky whips his head around in shock. 

"I know my place," he tells me with a glare and Peggy starts backing away slowly. 

She grabs her cup before going to sit in the table. She loves the sunshine so I expected her to go out there to sit. 

"And where is that exactly?" I ask him with a brow raised. 

I knew it was gonna be bad when Bucky's lips twisted into a wicked grin and his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. 

"Beneath you," is what I think he says. I can't really be sure but I think that's what he said. Good lord I hate the teasing, I'm going to die before we fuck. He likes this game, I know him well enough to see that. He doesn't like when things are easy. Some predators enjoy hunting their prey rather than just eating it and that's what Bucky does. 

"What?" I ask him and he looks at me strangely. It all makes sense now. He let me decide whether or not I heard him right and had two answers for the possible responses. I chose wrong. Maybe I didn't pick correctly this time but it won't happen again. 

I look back to Bucky and choke when I notice tears in those blue eyes of his and his face is screwed up in disgust. 

"It burns," he almost offers the explanation for his watery blue eyes. Perhaps my nose got used to the in-your-face scent of Peggy's sunscreen but his sure didn't. 

I let out a short laugh and he scowls at me. His nose and eyes are red due to unshed tears. 

"You get used to it," I comfort him but he glares at me in response. 

"Some things I will never get used to," he tells me but I feel like he's not talking about the sunscreen. He breaks eye contact and walks over to grab his phone off the desk, typing furiously with a concerned look on his face.

"Is everything ok?" I know I shouldn't pry and I know he probably won't tell me anyways but I ask regardless.

Bucky looks up at me with a strong emotion deep in his eyes that I have a hard time identifying. It's not hatred or sadness but it's just as strong as both. 

"You're," he hesitates the slightest bit but I notice it "concerned?" He asks me in surprise and my heart almost breaks. 

"Of course, you just looked worried so what's up?" I ask him lightly, trying to keep the mood between us fairly pleasant. He narrows his eyes and his jaw sets. I mentally groan knowing that the wall is back, the industrial wall of defense that I have yet to break. 

"I don't need your concern," he tells me coolly. 

"Ya ya, you don't need anyone," I assume and his lips curl back over his teeth. 

"I never said that," he says sternly. 

"I know I just assumed-"

"Well don't. Don't be a fool and don't assume things about me Steve," a humorless laugh bounces off the office walls and I wince. 

"Ok lesson learned," I put my hands up in surrender and he nods. 

The rest of the afternoon is tense between us, but we keep a three guard rotation as Peggy stipulated so not too much time is spent together. Finally the next shift comes in and we all leave together. 

"Cya tonight Steve!!" Peggy calls over to me as she gets in her shiny black Toyota. She never fails to keep her cars, glasses, keys, jewelry and other things in perfect condition. She takes pride in what she buys because she bought it herself. She's independent in a way that so few people are today. She doesn't like relying on anyone to give her what she wants: she gets it herself. 

"I look forward to it Peggy!!" I shout at her truthfully because in 4 short hours from now, Nat's house will be filled with acquaintances and unfamiliar faces. 

I turn around to see Bucky, leaning comfortably on my black Mercedes with a wicked smile curving his lips. Bucky lounging on my car is probably the sexiest thing I have ever seen and will ever see. Muscles ripple on a shiny black hood and dark blue eyes burn with the devilish gleam of lust. I feel a strange sense of arousal rush towards my groin and I make a low sound of approval in the back of my throat. 

"Nice wheels Steve," he says lowly, licking his lips after the words come out from between them.

"Wanna take it for a spin?" I ask him, dangling the keys in front of his eyes but before he reaches for them I pull them away. 

"I was kidding, get on your bike Bucky, let's go," I tell him and he frowns while walking past me. He takes his good sweet time getting on his ride, his eyes never leaving mine. Finally he climbs on and I pull out, careful to make sure he's behind me. We drive the short 6 minute drive to Nat's house and park in her empty driveway. 

There's something you should know about Natasha. Her house isn't a two floored suburb house with other houses squashed next to it. Oh no, it's a 4 floor mansion in a luscious part of the woods. Green hills roll on for what seems like miles and she has a small pond in the middle of the grass. There's an outdoor patio framed with trees that looks like the outdoor seating section of a restaurant. The house itself is a mixture of light brown siding and brown, gray, and white rocks. The lawn is well kept and there is a large section for parking cars. Her father is the ceo of an engineering company so he meets a lot with work associates at his own house. Nat hates the house because she says its so drafty and unwelcoming but to me it's beautiful and well decorated. She always calls me to come pick her up when her dad has a meeting because she hates sitting in silence. When there's a meeting she can't go into the basement and dance to her obnoxiously loud music like she does every evening, morning, afternoon. Presently she's stringing lights on the two oak trees sitting by the front porch of the house. 

"Hey Steve!!!" She calls excitedly over to me and drops a string of lights on Clint who gives a frustrated sigh. 

Clint was Nat's first ever boyfriend but they broke up around a year ago, starting their surprisingly strong friendship. He's second only to me though. 

"Hi Nat," I chuckle as she wraps her arms around my waist in a firm hug. I love the feeling of her arms, she's so strong but yet so gentle and I always feel a strange sense of comfort when she touches me. I feel her stiffen when she looks past me and I know she sees Bucky. 

"Um Steve, what's he doing here?" She asks me in a whisper. 

"You could ask me yourself my dear. I forgot to get your address so I followed Steve here," he tells her with a satisfied smirk gracing his features. Nat blushes and gives him an awkward hug before pulling away. 

"Cool ok, you guys can go set up cups and plates inside on the counter next to the fridge," she orders, a dark blush still painted on her cheeks. 

"Why don't you go take a shower? We can handle things," Bucky tells her with a chuckle when her face turns even redder. 

"Oh how dare you!!!" She stomps up to him with a finger pointed at his face. Bucky tries to bite it but she pulls it away. 

"I was kidding Nat, Steve and I will see to the cups and plates," Bucky says with a broad grin and she sighs in relief. 

We do what Nat told us to and eventually, people start pouring into the house. Everyone says hello to me almost respectfully and Bucky introduces himself with a cocky grin and an outstretched hand. Before too many people get here I walk up to the bathroom to change into normal clothes considering I'm still wearing my guard suit. I pull a tight white shirt over my head and yank on light washed jeans. I loop a brown belt through my jeans and run my hands through my hair. When I step out of the bathroom Bucky is leaning against the wall opposite to the bathroom. He wears a bored expression on his face and he studies his nails with acute interest. He has a long sleeved v-neck tight fitted black shirt on, dark jeans and a black twine necklace thing. When I close the bathroom door he looks up and lets his eyes travel the length of my body, slowly making their way up to my face with a satisfied smile on his face. 

"Nice, I might just want to take a picture," Bucky says dryly and makes a move towards the bathroom but I square my shoulders and stand in the doorway. 

"Careful Bucky, if I didn't know any better I'd think you were flirting with me," I say, recalling our conversation earlier. He bares his teeth at me in what can't really be considered a smile and moves closer. 

"If I was?" He whispers the question in my ear and I turn my face so his is a breath away. I run my right hand through his silky long hair and he closes his eyes, letting a sigh escape his parted lips. Before I can stop myself I slam him against the wall and feel a satisfied grin curve my lips as a whoosh of air leaves his lungs and shock fills those blue eyes of his. There's something empowering about holding Bucky against the wall that I wasn't expecting. He looks like he's enjoying this as much as me, almost like he loves writhing beneath me. I get very close to his lips and restrain him when he tries to move forward. 

"I don't do hypotheticals little boy,"

Tease me all you want Bucky Barnes because two can play at that game.


	4. It ain't a house party til somebody gets shot

I hate my life. If you've ever had an infatuation with someone and spend every waking moment looking for them then we are on the same page. That's how I'm spending this party. Every person wearing a black shirt makes my pulse jump, every brunette makes my heart beat faster and every pair of blue eyes makes me shiver. It's like I caught the plague and am dying a slow death but I'm not. I haven't actually seen Bucky barnes all evening and trust me, I've been looking for him.  It's really stupid but I can't concentrate on the grinding or the whiskey or the food, all I want is Bucky. He's probably off somewhere with his tongue down someone's throat and I'm just being pathetic. God I hate myself sometimes. I shove my hands through my hair and do one last sweep of the kitchen to see if Bucky miraculously showed up before I venture out into the living room. Before I make it there I feel a hand on my wrist and I turn to find a pair of dark brown eyes and a cocky grin in front of me. 

"Ah Steve, fancy meeting you here. If I remember correctly, you weren't really much of a party goer," Tony Stark says with a calculated grin and a mocking gaze. 

My blood freezes and I swallow a couple times, trying desperately to not burst into tears or punch him in the face. He looks every bit then playboy with designer jeans, a black button down shirt and fancy brown dress shoes with polka dotted socks. His hair is slightly longer than it was when I dated him and it curls at the ends. His eyes are still the same cold, almost black brown color and his mouth still forms a slight sneer when he looks at me. I set my jaw and narrow my eyes at him.

"People change," I tell him coolly and he laughs openly before taking a sip from a red cup. 

"Not that much," he answers after swallowing the contents of the cup. He sets it down on the counter and steeples his fingers. 

"What are you doing here?" I ask, not bothering to argue with him anymore. Once someone makes their opinion, it's only a waste of time to sway them towards a different way of thinking. 

"Thought I'd pop by," he shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. 

"I thought this was invite only," I point out harshly and he puts a hand on his heart as if offended by my statement. 

"God you got rude," he mutters and I frown at him. 

"Not all of us are born that way," I snap and he looks up at me and laughs for the second time this evening.   

"My my, your manners really are just atrocious," he chuckles and I form fists with my hands. 

"Fuck you and your manners," I tell him harshly and he laughs again. 

"You've changed a lot," he murmurs and takes a step forward as my eyes widen in horror. "If you keep talking to me like this I'm gonna get hard," he whispers in my ear, letting his tongue brush the area slowly. The sad thing is that I'm excited by this encounter and if he wants to have sex I'd probably say yes. But I'm not that person anymore so I shove him away. He skids on his heels and a look of frustration flickers over his features. 

"I hope you have fun Tony," I glare at him before walking away. It's better that I left him because if he opened that big mouth of his again I fear I would've punched him.  I walk out into the living room, leaving my ex alone in the kitchen. 

"STEEEVE!!" Natasha croons at me from her spot on the couch when I come in. 

She's surrounded by red solo cups and boys...the usual. Two sit to her left and another sits on her right. She looks like a mob boss with her henchmen only way sexier. She sports a tiny red dress with a plunging neckline that reveals her cleavage. I'm gay and I still keep looking at her boobs, they just demand attention. She takes another swig of God knows what and grins at me with pearly white teeth. 

"Hi Nat," I say and laugh "boys," I gesture to them and they wave. 

Nat pushes herself off the couch and walks confidently over to me, grabbing my shirt collar when she reaches me.

"Come on Steve, I wanna show you what's downstairs," she whispers to me and I almost groan. 

I know Nat's drunk when she starts flirting with me. This usually starts happening around half way into the evening and despite my sexuality I still get turned on when she talks to me like that. I nod at her and she grabs my hand, leading me to the basement. 

It's her dance studio, but something horrible happened to it. The lights are dimmed, the music is vibrating the shiny mirrors and there's about a hundred people in here. 'Hard For' blasts on the speakers and the writhing pit of bodies grinds to the dirty words. All of her ballet bars were cleared from the area and her mirrors make the room look 200x larger. The room is smokey and smells saccharine sweet, almost intoxicating. I'm no stranger to high school parties and I know what weed smells like. 

I feel a firm hand on my back and see Thor standing with a mischievous glint in his eyes. If only this boy were gay man. That's all I gotta say. He looks damn near perfect in a red tight fit shirt and dark jeans. His thick arms are covered with swirling tattoos that disappear under the collar of his shirt and his short sleeves and his hair is tied back from his face. 

Thor's tattoos are always a mystery to me...here one minute and gone the next. Even now they flicker and dance across his smooth skin, becoming different shades of amber before settling again to the dark black. Some days they aren't even there and I've given up on trying to figure out what the hell is going on there. He smiles widely and pulls me in for a hug. Now I'm not a small guy but Thor makes me feel like a child. His arms themselves are probably bigger than my head but I feel at home in his crushing embrace. So both him and Nat are drunk which is just great. 

"Come dance with me Steve," he says gruffly in my ear and roughly yanks me with him to the dance floor. 

There's no use in denying Thor what he wants. I'd get about ten feet and he'd outrun me, not a good idea to try to shove him off because he'd only tackle me to the floor so I comply and head to the center of the mob. I don't recognize anyone and it makes me nervous. A sea of strangers swims into view and I fight the panic settling in my stomach. I've always had a fear of being too close to this many unknown people. Reassurance floods my veins when I feel Thor's large hands grip my waist like a vise. He grabs me and slams me against his chest, with my ass placed firmly on his dick. The breath whooshes out of me on the contact and shock is replaced by curiosity in a blink of the eye. 

I feel small in Thor's hands but I love it all the same. He smells good; like pine and the outdoors, not nearly as good as Bucky but still amazing. Tomorrow he will faintly remember doing this and in a week the faint memory will be erased forever. This thought comforts me slightly and I feel a grin curve my lips. I push my ass back and he groans deeply in my ear, his hands coming around to cradle my neck. God this is what I need to get Bucky out of my mind. I need to be dominated harshly without any strings attached. A little bit of fun never hurt anyone. 

"You feel good, move faster," Thor chokes out and I don't hesitate to fulfill his wishes. 

I roll my hips faster than before but to the slow music of 'do you'. Thor's hands leave my neck and grip my hips harshly. Pain sweeps over me from the rough handling but I relish it with a euphoric smile. He presses his lips to the back of my neck and slides his tongue across my skin slowly, making my eyelids flutter closed. My moan is drowned out by the music but I hear his at my ear. Satisfaction fills me when I feel his erection pressed against me. I made him like this and it makes me pretty damn happy. 

"You'll fix this later," he promises and my eyes roll back in my head. 

I'd love to make him feel better, lord what I'd give to be on my knees in front of him. I push my hips back harder and Thor leans heavily against me with his head buried in the crook of my neck, his scruff scraping against the sensitive skin there. 

"With pleasure," I answer him but before he can say something I feel a second pair of lips at my neck. I freeze in Thor's arms and my eyes open to see long brown hair in front of me. Lustful blue eyes meet mine and a smirk flashes on Bucky Barnes' face. I blush but Bucky doesn't seem to notice because he places his long fingers under my chin and moves my head gently to the side. He presses hot lips to my skin and tugs my flesh with his teeth making me squirm in pleasure and pain. 

Thor is pressed at my back and Bucky is at the front, both moving in time with the music. Thor's mouth moves quickly but Bucky's moves with careful precession. I still feel strange in the arms of two men and Bucky can sense even the smallest change in my body because he moves slowly towards Thor. 

"Thor do you mind if I take over?" He asks smoothly and I'm surprised when the heat is gone from my back. I whip my head around to see the blond boy walking towards Natasha. Figures. I roll my eyes and face Bucky who stands in front of me with a frown securely fastened on his features. 

"What?" I ask him, squirming under his heavy stare. He shakes his head and flashes a crooked grin. 

"I don't want to talk to you," he tells me but not rudely. I raise a brow and he steps closer. Another step puts him even closer and I feel my heart beat hasten as his fingers brush my cheek. One last step puts him so close that his lips brush mine faintly. 

"Then what do you want?" I ask him, trying hard to focus on his response instead of his lips. 

"You," he answers simply and finally crushes his lips to mine. 

This is what I've been waiting for since I met this dark boy, I just wanted to feel those mocking lips pressed to mine and his tongue invading my mouth. He kisses me with a strange sense of desperation, like he's a man out of time and it scares me. I gently push him away from me but the wild look in his eyes makes me reconsider. Slowly I reattach our lips, letting his tongue take control of mine, submitting to him like I knew he wanted. He yanks my head back with one fist knotted in my hair and the other closed around my throat. He doesn't hurt me but he's very much in control. I can't move my head on my own without hurting myself in his strong grip. 

His tongue twists around in my mouth, moving mine to the side. My jaw is pried open farther than I thought it could go and a faint ache settles in the area. He presses himself against me and breaks contact so he can kiss my neck. He tugs me roughly against him, making me gasp when I feel his erection digging into my upper thigh. Small bites decorate my neck and I feel his tongue swirling around the small bits of pain, soothing my irritated flesh. 

In this moment I forget that I'm in a mosh pit of people because it's only Bucky. It will only ever be Bucky, it was stupid to try to play with Thor when he wasn't what I wanted. I really don't care about people watching and I realize that they're all probably too drunk or high to remember anything about this. 

I feel Bucky's lips reconnect with mine and all thoughts about people seeing are shoved even farther into the dark corners of my mind. He flips me around and presses my butt against his crotch swiftly, digging his hips into my backside. He slides his hand up and onto my forehead, tilting my head back to give him better access to my neck. 

He's hard and so am I. This becomes increasingly uncomfortable but Bucky doesn't loosen his grips on my hips. I let out a little whimper because there's nothing offering me the slightest bit of relief. I got the short end of the stick because Bucky gets the delicious friction he wanted. He chuckles against my neck as I writhe in agony. 

"Poor Steve," he sing songs in my ear and I quiver as his breath fans my neck. 

I think he whispers something in my ear but I can't hear him. He smiles against my neck and puts his lips on my ear. 

"Follow me little boy," he murmurs with steel lacing his words. I don't dare argue with him and nod, feeling him bite my shoulder one last time before grabbing my hand and leading me away. Nat gives me a thumbs up as we make our way to the stairs and anxiety curls in my stomach. 

As soon as the basement door swings shut I'm faced with Bucky alone in almost silence. Very few people decorate the upstairs and the ones who do are passed out on the couch. He flashes me a quick smile that makes my dick twitch uncomfortably in my jeans. He notices my discomfort and smirks before pushing me up against the basement door forcefully. I gasp out in pain but Bucky's lips are too busy on my neck for me to push him off. 

"I'll make you feel better Steve," he promises against my neck, slowly sliding his leg in between mine. 

"Bucky please," I choke out and he leaves soft kisses along my jaw until his lips reach mine. He presses little butterfly kisses to them before he looks at me with passion burning in his eyes. I try so hard not to grind down on his leg but my self control is slipping. He cups my face in his hands and looks into my eyes with a soft smile. I've never seen this side of Bucky ever and I think it might be the most beautiful thing I will ever see. 

"What do you want Steve?" He asks me, slowly running his nose across my cheeks, leaving a small trail of kisses in its wake. I turn my head into his touch and moan softly. 

"I think you know what I want," I tell him and a blush paints my cheeks. He smiles at me, like a real genuine smile. 

"I love it when you blush," he muses, running his fingers across my cheeks in swirling strokes. I blush harder and he grabs my hand with his, gently tugging me upstairs. 

I've only ever been to the third floor of Natasha's house once. There's three guest rooms up here, each off of the long hallways spanning from one staircase to the next. Two on the right and one on the left in addition to her parents' bedroom. 

"Pick one," he says and gestures towards the closed doors. I select the first one on the left, silently praying that it's not Nat's parents' room. Upon entering I know that my wishes haven't been granted. A giant black bed sits in the middle of the large room. This room is honestly probably the size of my entire house not gonna lie. It's well decorated with dark brown wooden chairs and dressers. A smaller door no doubt leads to the adjacent bathroom. 

"Excellent choice," he says with a crooked grin before he pushes me back onto the bed. 

I land sprawled on the large bed ad Bucky wastes no time to cover my body with his. He slowly grinds his dick into mine and I feel my eyes close and my lips part. This is one of those moments that I want to bottle and save forever because who knows when Bucky will ever be like this again. Maybe it's the beer, the weed, or something else but I love him like this. His lips are at my throat again and his hands are on my zipper, slowly dragging it down. 

I tense immediately and sit up, knocking my head with his. He looks surprised and then confused at my movements. 

"What's wrong?" He asks me quietly, not daring to touch me at the moment. I flush and pray that he can't see it in the dark but I don't answer him, I just look down at my hands. He places two fingers under my chin and tilts my head up to meet his eyes. I shake my head and Bucky slowly pushes me back down on the bed, straddling my lap. 

"Don't be uncomfortable Steve," he reassures me as he brushes hair from my face in soothing strokes. He treats me like I'm made of glass and he's afraid I'll break if he's not very careful with me. I've never been treated with such care before. Tony always controlled everything with a strange sense of urgency that was rushed and often painful. Bucky gently massages my collar bone with a secretive smile on his face that I can see in the dark. He moves his hips with mine and I grunt in discomfort, hating and loving the friction that he's making. I feel Bucky's hands at the hem of my t-shirt and then he's pulling it up and off, leaving me shirtless. His mouth explores my newly exposed skin and he keeps making these little moans that are driving me crazy. He makes a fiery trail of bites and kisses until he reaches the waistband of my pants. 

He reaches out tentatively and gently touches my zipper with three fingers. He slowly traces the line a couple times with his face pressed into my thigh. I turn my face into the pillows and stifle a groan when he continues his attack on my zipper. He stops his movements suddenly and slowly kisses up to my lips. 

"Don't try to be quiet Steve, I want to hear you when I make you scream," he chuckles throatily as he starts yanking down my zipper before I realize what he's doing. 

He pushes his hand eagerly in my pants and I can't help the scream that comes out of my mouth. Bucky groans and pulls down my pants so I'm laying on the gorgeous bed in nothing but my underwear. He presses his lips to the tent in my underwear as his hands slowly slide up my stomach. I arch my back off the bed and shut my eyes tightly, trying hard not to scream even though he wants me to. He growls in displeasure and moves his mouth from my crotch to my neck. He bites it harshly and I whimper with the pain. 

"I thought I told you to scream for me Steve," another bite on my throat and a knee between my legs, "don't disobey me again," he snarls against my throat before he bites down again, making me scream openly. He smiles and huffs. 

"Good boy," he praises me and hearing his praise makes me radiate with a strange sense of joy. He's gone then and his lips are on my thighs, leaving kisses and bites on the sensitive skin there. 

"God you're so beautiful," he tells me and I flush again, soaking up the approval he's giving me. His hands are on the waistband of my underwear but before he can tug them down a voice sounds from downstairs. 

"BUCKY WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!" 

He freezes and I can feel the fear in his body, he pushes off me quickly and makes his way towards the door. 

"Bucky wait," I call after him and he whips his head around, the faint light from the hall showing me the haunted look on his face. He shakes his head and swallows. 

"Stay the hell away from me Steve," he warns brokenly before turning and disappearing around the corner. 

"BUCKY PLEASE!!" I call after him but he's gone. 

Hastily I put on my pants and shirt before running out in the hallway. I sprint down two flights of stairs to where I finally see a large gathering of people with Bucky standing in the middle. Screams echo off the walls and Bucky's eyes are wild, scanning the room for a way out. And then I see him; the man dressed in black with a gun pointed at Bucky's head. I run forward just as Natasha steps in front of Bucky with a confused look on her face. Everyone stands very still, all of the people too frightened to move a muscle.  

"Get out," she says firmly but I can see the uncertainty and fear in her eyes. 

She shouldn't have done that, she shouldn't have put herself in the way of the shooter and Bucky. The strange man chuckles at her and she backs another step away. I hear trigger being pulled and I run to Natasha faster than I've ever run in my life but I'm not fast enough. The gunshot sounds and she falls to the ground, blood soaking her dress and spilling out onto the floor. I reach her body and put her head in my lap, placing my hands on her shot wound, trying to stop some of the bleeding. 

Bucky looks horrified at what happened and everyone's screaming. My head pounds and tears pool in my eyes like puddles after it rains. Nat twitches in my arms, her eyes wide with shock as pain. It breaks my heart to see my best friend lying on the floor like this. The strongest person I know is laying on the floor, curled in pain. Everyone in the house begins running for the door, or towards the basement, creating currents of bodies blocking my view from the shooter. 

Bucky whips his head around and tears shine brightly in his eyes. He faces who I assume is the shooter and his lips curl in an animalistic snarl. He flicks his wrists and two small knives are suddenly in his hands. Without hesitation he launches them at the attacker, most likely landing them because I hear a wail and another body hitting the floor. Bucky makes eye contact with me before he sprints towards the door. 

I look between legs and see a dark head bent on the floor, blood pooling there. Then a pair of dead black eyes meet mine and my blood chills. I clutch Natasha tightly to my chest as the shooter shakily begins crawling towards me. I feel footsteps hit my legs and a knee to my head but I cover Nat's body with mine, trying desperately to keep her safe from the stampede. 

I slowly push to my feet, Nat carefully cradled in my arms. I begin running towards the door when I feel a hand on my ankle and I stumble to the ground, rolling mid-air so Nat doesn't land on the hard wood floor. My head hits the hard ground and I cry out in pain. Tears cloud my vision as I scramble away from the man with the gun pointed at my head. I think I'm screaming but I'm not sure that it's me producing those primitive sounds. Terror rips through me when I hear a trigger being pulled. I bend over Natasha when the second gun shot sounds. I brace myself for the pain that doesn't come. I feel blood spatter my face and then a head slams on the ground near my shoes. Bucky stands over the fallen shooter with a gun still pointed at his head. He gives me a grim look, the look of a man who just signed his own death warrant. 

"Bucky," I cry out, sobs wracking my body in painful waves. Tears stream down his face and he closes his eyes tightly. 

"Steve I'm sorry," he whispers sadly before he disappears from sight. I lay stunned on the floor, holding Natasha so tightly that my knuckles are white. I desperately reach into my pocket to call 911 but a large hand pries my phone out of my grip. 

"No!!" I scream out and swipe frantically at the offender but a familiar face swims into view. Thor. 

"Don't worry, I called 911, an ambulance is on the way," he tells me gently. I nod at the news and relax slightly. Thor pulls his shirt off over his head and presses it firmly on Nat's wound, slowing the blood flow. 

My eyes scan the house but everyone is gone, including Bucky Barnes. The only ones remaining in this haunted house are me, Thor, Natasha, and the dead body.


	5. Play Date

Beep, beep, beep. These sounds have remained constant. I'm grateful that I still hear the annoying beeping because if I didn't, my best friend would be lost to the world. While the beeping is constant, her consciousness is not. She wakes up suddenly to scream and cry before hiccuping back into a coma-like sleep. She's getting better, at least that's what the doctors say. The bullet narrowly avoided any large veins and it embedded in her side instead of her chest. She endured surgery on the first day of her hospital stay to remove the bullet from her tissue. 

I've been at the hospital for three days and haven't left since she arrived but to shower and get a change of clothes. She's gotten many visitors on the second and third days including the staff from the country club as well as many people from the party. 

She seems to be feeling better now because her eyes are closed and she wears a faint smile. Her lips are slightly parted, letting soft breaths come in and out. Her body isn't curled in pain, but it's relaxed in sleep. She has her hands folded across her lap and her legs are stretched out in front of her. She looks like Snow White and is just as pale. Her red hair fans across the pillow in soft tendrils, offsetting her pale skin with the vibrant color. I have my head rested on my hands at the side of her bed, staring at her intently, looking for some signs of the best friend I know and love. 

I haven't heard a word from Bucky Barnes since the party and honestly I'd like to keep it that way. If I saw him again there's nothing stopping me from punching him in the face. That person shot Nat to get to him and she shouldn't have stepped in his way. I'm not saying Bucky deserves to die but my best friend sure as hell didn't deserve to be shot instead of him. He can keep his secrets to himself because I don't want anything to do with him. Nat is in the hospital because of him and that's unforgivable. I don't care if he shot the shooter, he's responsible for him being there in the first place. 

While I want to be completely angry with Bucky for putting Nat in danger, I can't help but be worried for him at the same time. Whoever that was wanted him dead and I'm sure there are others out there looking for him. He must be scared on his own but then I remember his precise shooting and knives tucked safely in his sleeves. Bucky knew someone was looking for him and he showed up at Nat's party regardless of his safety. He's either really brave or really stupid I'm having a hard time deciding which I believe. 

It must be hard to live your life in constant fear of being hunted and I feel like that's how Bucky grew up. I guess Bucky didn't really grow up much at all. He was born an adult, with his mind focused on his survival instead of coloring books. Maybe this just started recently but he seems like no stranger to the situation. Those scars on him also don't look very fresh. What exactly has Bucky gone through to make him so hunted? What made him damaged and what forced him to carry around knives to a high school party?

Maybe it's better that I don't know these things about him because maybe I'd hate him even more. Maybe I'd be more drawn to him than I already am? I can't understand why I still feel the way I do about him and it bothers me. He's never been openly nice to me and he doesn't talk to me that much so why was I so desperate to fall for him? Does my mind just want me to be miserable and confused then rest of my life or was there a purpose for what it did? 

"I'm forbidden fruit to you Steve", One bite and you'll be locked out of heaven forever," he warned me a while ago about the dangers of pursuing him and I guess I should've headed his warning. Curiosity got the better of me and I blame myself partly for what happened to Nat. If I had just stayed away from him, if we both had, he wouldn't have even been invited to her party in the first place. It's my fault she's here, I did this to her. She warned me to stay away and I didn't listen to her. 'Do not enter' signs were posted everywhere but I chose to ignore them and drive straight into oncoming traffic. What was I think-

"Steve?" A hoarse voice whispers and pulls me out of my thoughts. 

I look down to see Nat with her blue/green eyes open and her mouth with the corners flipped up. She's smiling at me despite her being in a hospital bed and I'm so grateful for her strength. 

"Oh Nat, you're awake," I breath and wrap my fingers around her cold ones. She raises a brow. 

"Duh," she croaks out and I can't help the shaky laugh from escaping my lips. 

Back to her old self at last. Maybe a faded version of my fiery haired, arrogant, flaming tempered best friend but still a version of her that's alive.

"So how are you feeling?," I ask her the most unoriginal question but I'm still curious. She gives me a look. 

"How do you think I feel?" She asks me dryly and I almost laugh. 

"Like running a marathon?" I suggest and she raises a brow. 

"I feel like I've already run a marathon and then got hit by a bus," she tells me sincerely and I wince. 

"So not good," I suggest slowly and she glares at me. 

"I feel like shit wise guy," she says without an ounce of amusement but I can tell she's starting to get better. I laugh at her and she can't seem to stop the crooked smile from making its way onto her features. 

"Well that's an improvement," I hear a deep voice from the doorway and both Nat and I slowly look towards the door. 

Tony Stark stands in the door way with a bouquet of white roses and a teddy bear in his arms. He wears a light gray jacket over top of a pale blue shirt and he wears khaki pants. 

"How's it going Nat?" He asks the neutral question and Nat breaks into a soft smile. 

While I may have broken up with Tony, Nat still remains friends with him and I can see how much it means to her that he's here. She holds out a hand and smiles at him with genuine happiness. He takes her hand and sinks into the seat next to mine. 

"It's going just great," she tells him sarcastically but I can catch the glimmer of truth behind her words. 

She's glad that she has her friends here while she's awake because it makes her feel less like she's stuck in a hospital. Nat hates being stuck anywhere too long and she moves with grace and speed through all aspects of her life. Part of the reason she looks so miserable and pale is probably due to the fact that she is bored and hasn't moved. The amount of pain she's in also contributes to her pallid appearance. 

"Well I'm glad you think so. What about you Stevie Wonder?" A casual smirk is thrown my way and I smile despite myself at the pet name. 

"Still calling me that huh?" I ask him with a slight chuckle and he grins, his dark eyes roaming my face. I feel my pulse hasten and I try to look away from his eyes but he holds my gaze. 

"Always," he tells me earnestly with a forced smile that masks his real emotions. I would know, I've used that smile many times before. 

"I hate to break up the moment but I'm laying in a hospital bed and the man responsible is MIA," Natasha points out with annoyance coloring her words. 

I feel an unexpected surge of defensiveness for Bucky that I wasn't anticipating. Just five minutes ago I was blaming him for the horrible situation but now I feel the need to defend him. Despite my previous thoughts I miss him. We didn't talk too much but he kept me on my toes and made me think of the future. He made me wind fantasies of us in my mind: fantasies that will never happen now. 

"Don't blame him for everything, he didn't shoot you," I say to her more harshly than intended. She looks taken aback and her eyes widen. 

"Well the man wouldn't have shot me if Bucky wasn't at my party in the first place," she tells me irritably, making me reconsider my statement. She has a point so I don't bother saying anything, my pride is too large to admit that I was wrong. 

"He's gone now, don't worry about him," Tony soothes her in a warm voice. She looks at him indignantly. 

"You don't know that," she grinds out. Tony shrugs a shoulder in response and lays a hand on her cold one. 

"Yes but worrying about it won't solve your problems," he says rationally. I agree with Tony's statement 100%. I wish he was like this when we were dating. 

"When did you get so logical?" I ask him lightly with a grin in his direction. 

"When you broke up with me," he says flatly and I wince. 

"Hey there, enough talk about breakups, more talk about something that doesn't make me want to actually get hit by a bus after running a marathon," Natasha laughs and Tony and I scowl at her. 

"That was rude," Tony says under his breath but he has a smile on his face so I know he wasn't too offended. 

We sit together and talk about our lives like the good old days where we were almost inseparable. Tony loves Harvard and he made lots of friends and he's doing really well there. I'm happy for him and Natasha seems to be too. I want him to do well despite me kind of hating his guts.

"Excuse me? Sorry dear but the boys have to leave. You need your rest and we brought you some food," a nurse says as she enters the room. She crosses the room and props Nat's bed up so she can eat her food properly. 

"Come tomorrow?" Natasha asks us with desperation plain in her voice. I know she's lonely and bored so I agree without thought. Tony smiles and nods his head. 

"I'll see you tomorrow," he touches her hand and walks out of the door. 

"Bye Nat," I say and she winces. 

"Don't say 'bye'. Say see you tomorrow," she insists. 

"See you tomorrow," I comply with a soft smile. She returns the smile and I walk out the door. 

"Let's go grab coffee," Tony suggests as soon as I walk out of Nat's room. I didn't see him there so I jump in surprise and his lips twitch into a smile. Every bone in my body screams to say no but somehow that's not what comes out of my mouth. 

"Sure," 

That one word could destroy me. That one word could suck me back into the world that I so desperately tried to escape. Yet part of me uttered that word. Part of me is curious and intrigued. Maybe it's just a cup of coffee. Maybe it's not. Only time will tell. 

He raises his eyebrows in surprise. I can tell that he was expecting me to turn him down. I'm surprised too but it's too late to say no. 

"Ok cool, let's meet at the Starbucks near chickfila," he tells me and I nod. 

I then remember that my dad dropped my mom of to pick up my car today. She's working the night shift at the hospital and needed our second car. 

"Can I actually get a ride? My mom had my car," I explain and he nods. I follow him out of the hospital in silence and together we walk to his car. 

He has a sleek red Mercedes Maybach. My eyes widen as I scan the cherry red luxury car. It glistens in the sun and I struggle not to run my hands over the hood. 

"Pictures last longer," he whispers in my ear as he passes me to open my door for me. I open my mouth but shut it almost instantly. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of a snarky response from me. I grudgingly take a seat in the passenger side as he walks over to the drivers side, his keys held by his teeth. He starts the car and it purrs to life. I can feel it rumbling beneath the leather seats and I can't help but fight the smile forming on my lips. He laughs euphorically as he pulls out of the parking lot and onto the highway. The ride is smooth to the coffee shop and I savor every moment in the beautiful car. 

Once we reach the small Starbucks Tony opens my door for me again and we walk into the shop side by side. I love the smell of coffee, if I could bottle the scent and wear it as a cologne I would. I can hear the beans grinding in the machines, the bustle of people ordering drinks and the sloshing sound of coffee being poured. 

I order a grande coconut iced latte and Tony settles for just a plain iced coffee. We take our drinks and sit in the outdoor seating area. 

"So Steve, seen much of Bucky?" Tony asks smoothly as he takes a sip of his coffee, toying with the straw before sucking the liquid into his mouth. I freeze at the name but quickly compose myself. 

"No, have you?" I ask without really thinking about it. Tony looks at me with a brow raised, the question 'are you stupid?' Lurking in his eyes. 

"Why would I?" He asks in a mocking tone. 

"Just wondering," I mumble and take another sip of my drink. It's honestly the greatest thing they sell. If you haven't tried it YOU ARE MISSING OUT!! 

"Worried about him?" He asks nonchalantly but I can detect a certain emotion coloring his words. 

"Hardly," I scoff and his eyes widen slightly. 

"I thought you really like him," Tony states. 

I did really like him but things change. I probably actually didn't care about him to begin with, I'm sure that I was just curious. After all, he wasn't nice to me and he turned out getting my best friend shot. 

"Why would you think something like that?" I ask him lightly. 

"Sometimes your friends realize things before you do," he answers simply and takes another gulp of his drink.

"Friends? Is that what we are?" I ask in shock, fighting the irritation starting to boil in my veins. 

"Assuming you want to be," he replies calmly.

That's the thing about Tony, nothing ruffles him. He's composed beyond belief and every answer is smooth and calculated. He never does anything with emotion or passion, he does it void of those things yet his answers still rattle me. 

"Do you want to be?" I ask. He smiles but it doesn't touch his eyes, his smiles never do. 

"Now isn't that the money question," he muses. 

"Just answer it," I tell him impatiently. 

"Yes," one simple word makes my heart beat faster.

It's not out of love or excitement, it's out of fear. I'm afraid of going down that path again. He broke my heart and now he wants to be friends. 

"Oh," I mumble, unsure of exactly how to respond. 

"Relax kiddo, it's just friendship, I'm not asking for your liver," he jokes and I smile faintly. 

"Good, I like my liver where it is," I ay and he chuckles. 

"Do you even know where it's located?" He asks with a smile. 

"No," I admit. 

"Me either, let's get out of here. There's a road south of your house that's wide open. Why don't you take us for a spin?" He stands in front of me and dangles the keys to his car in front of my eyes. I reach out to grab them but he snatches them away, reminding me of when Bucky played this game with me a few days ago. 

"Say we'll do this again sometime," he orders. 

I want to say no way but a Mercedes Maybach is a Mercedes Maybach. 

"We'll do this again sometime," I say and grab the keys from his hands. 

 

**************** 

Tony drops me off outside my door after a crazy ride. It's almost dark now and Tony has work to do so he decided to drop me off now. I had a really great afternoon with him much to my surprise. We drove for hours with the windows rolled down, zooming at 105 on the deserted road. After that we went to get McDonalds because it was on the way and we were hungry. Today reminded me of when we had been dating. He played his cards well and I actually wouldn't mind doing it again sometime soon. 

I unlock the door to my house and slowly push it open. The lights are off as I thought they'd be. Both my parents are at work so that leaves me home alone. I don't mind being alone. I walk over to the kitchen and go straight for the box of microwave popcorn. I cook it and pour it into a small bowl. I want to watch a couple of movies that Nat suggested so I prepare myself for a movie night. I walk up the stairs, not bothering to turn on the lights in the hallway or the stairwell. I scan the pile of clothes in search of my basketball shorts and soft shirts. I am about to pull them over my head when I feel a breeze blow my hair. I don't remember leaving my window open so I cautiously pad over to my door. I walk slowly into my room and my eyes fix on the window which is wide open. That's when I smell it. The intoxicating smell of cinnamon, clove, sugar and something else. It's the smell of Bucky. 

"Hello Steve, how was your play date with Tony?" Bucky asks from behind me. I turn slowly and watch as his shadow closes my door and takes a step closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating sooner!! School and work have been crazy. Hope you guys are enjoying the story :)


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